


Lonely

by kanesexual



Series: Hidekane Week 2018 [5]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Day 5, Hidekane Week 2018, M/M, hidekane, i procrastinate, kaneki wtf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 09:58:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15458835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanesexual/pseuds/kanesexual
Summary: Hide texts Kaneki, not expecting an answer.-Day 5– Lovesick / Dreaming of Each Other / “I’m so lonely without you.”





	Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> I still suck at summaries ;-;

_Without you, I feel broke,_

_Like I'm half of a whole,_

_Without you, I've got no hand to hold,_

_Without you, I feel torn,_

_Like a sail in a storm,_

_Without you, I'm just a sad song,_

_I'm just a sad song._

**|**

_H_ _ey, K_ _aneki! It's been a while since I last saw you. I've tried calling you, but you never pick up. I just need to know if you're okay, man._

Hide signed, throwing his phone down on the bed next to him as he sent another text. He knew that it would go unseen by his best friend, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Rolling over on his side, Hide picked up his phone, hoping that he got some type of response.

Of course he didn't.

So, he sent another text.

 _Hey, 'Neki. It's been so boring without you, buddy! Rabbits die of loneliness_ _y'know_ _!_

He knew that there was no point. He knew that Kaneki wouldn't respond if he ever saw these. No matter how many times he called, no matter how many times he sends texts, it'll all end the same. No response. No matter how many times he told himself this, he couldn't stop.

Hide always asked himself why he didn't stop. Why can't you just let go? He always had an answer. It was always the same.

_**Because I love him.** _

And it hurt. It hurt so much to love someone, only to have them leave you like nothing. It makes you wander what you could have done to make someone hate you so much, that they leave without a word. Like you never mattered.

_Hey, Kaneki. Do you remember when we first met? When I came up to you and asked you what you were reading? I wonder where I would be without you._

Sending yet another text, Hide closed his eyes, imagining Kaneki next to him. His hair, his nose, his smile, his eyes.

**_You always had pretty eyes. They would always light up when you talked about something you liked._ **

_God_ , he was such a mess. He feels so empty. He was an empty hand, reaching in vain to grasp another. Sending one last text, Hide closed his eyes.

_Without you I feel broke. Come home, Kaneki. I'm so lonely without you._

**|  
**

_You're the perfect melody,_

_The only harmony I wanna hear,_

_You're my favorite part of me,_

_With you standing next to me,_

____I've got nothing to fear_ _ _ _

**|  
**

He was in the seventh ward sitting on the edge an abandoned building, watching snowflakes fall from the sky. Kaneki stared at his phone, constantly playing that stupid ringtone Hide put on his phone. He frowns.

_**Hide.** _

With his eyes downcast on the street below, Kaneki wonders if he should read the texts.

**_No. You'll only want to go back. You're not strong enough to protect him yet._ **

Glancing at his phone, he reaches for it.

**_No._ **

Stopping himself, Kaneki clasped his hands together and squeezed them between his thighs.

**_Don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't lo-_ **

Thankful for the buzz that interrupts the chanting in his head, he grasped his phone tightly in his hand, doubting himself. Did he really want to read these? Shaking his head, Kaneki forced himself to unlock his phone and open his messages.

_Hey, Kaneki! It's been a while since I last saw you. I've tried calling you, but you never pick up. I just need to know if you're okay, man._

"I'm fine, Hide. Stop worrying."

**_I'm broken, but it's fine._ **

Ignoring his thoughts, he continues reading.

_Hey, 'Neki. It's been so boring without you, buddy! Rabbits die of loneliness, ya'know!_

**_I know, Hide. I'm sorry._ **

He continues reading.

_Hey, Kaneki. Do you remember how we first met? When I came up to you and asked you what you were reading? I wonder where I would be without you._

Smiling, Kaneki remembers the first time Hide approached him.

**.**

_"What are you reading!?"_

_Kaneki jumped back and stared in surprise as a boy with blonde hair sat down in front of him and stared. What was he supposed to say? Hello?_

_Before he could speak, the blond asked another question, resting his head on his palm. "Is it interesting?"_

_Still startled by his appearance, Kaneki only managed to stutter out a quick "yes" before he started talking again. "Hey, you're always reading books by yourself."_

_Was that wrong? "Sor-sorry?"_

_"I didn't mean it like that... It's just that I moved here recently, so I still don't have any friends! So, do you want to become friends with me?"_

_"Oh_ , um..." Friends? He's really loud and scary. And his nose is running.

_"YOU DON'T WANT TO BECOME FRIENDS!?"_

_He offered him a timid smile. "N-no. It's not that... I want to."_

_"Okay, good! My name is_ _Hideyoshi_ _Nagachika, but you can call me Hide!"_

_"K-kaneki."_

**.**

"You'd be doing much better. You wouldn't have to worry anymore," setting his phone down, he sighed, watching his breath flow from his mouth like fire from a dragon. "You'd be doing so much better, Hide."

As the clouds slowly crept over the moon, Kaneki decided to head back to the base. As he got up to leave, he heard one last buzz. Unlocking his phone, Kaneki stared, eyes wide, at the last message.

_Without you I feel broke. Come home, Kaneki. I'm so lonely without you._

He knew he should've just ignored him.

**.**

_Come home._

The words kept repeating.

**_Hide wants him to come home._ **

Through his blurry vision and trembling fingers, Kaneki had managed to turn his phone off, putting it in his pocket. Turning around, Kaneki started making his way back to base.

Distracted by his thoughts  _(of Hide)_ , he underestimated the distance between two buildings, falling to the ground below.

**_Fuck._ **

Unable to move, Kaneki laid on the snowy ground admiring the stars.

**_Hide._ **

_**I miss you so much.** _

Ignoring the burn in his muscles, Kaneki reaches for his phone and starts typing.

_Hey, Hide. I know that you're worried about me, but you don't need to be. I'm doing okay._

Blinking tears away, Kaneki's thumb hovered over his screen. Forcing himself to hit send, he continued. 

 _I didn't think that it would be like this. I don't know what to do now. I never have._ _I want to come home, but I can't._ _I want to see you, but I know that if I do, I won't complete my goal. I need to become stronger. I need to protect you._ _I'll come home when I can keep you safe._

**_I'm sorry._ **

_Take care of yourself, Hide._

**Author's Note:**

> I've given up on day 4 tbh


End file.
